Battle Free Bedtime

My favorite college professor always told me we must set our students up for success, and although I'm not teaching elementary school, I have always found this to be true in parenting. I can't expect my kids to go to bed like perfect angels when I'm not giving them what they need to be successful.

So what do they need? Finding this out has been...well...FRUSTRATING! The number one rule...it's not about you. My kids will not go to bed early because I don't feel well. They will not be able to skip parts of our routine because I decided to take them out to a movie and came home late. So I take a deep breath, and remind myself it's about them. It's about what my kids need, and if I focus on them I will get what I need. A stress free evening where I can eventually wind down myself (kid free) and maybe have a glass of wine...or some chocolate...or both.

I needed a tool that, kept me on a regular bedtime schedule, was a visual for my kids, and also served as a reminder of the routine for my Hubby. I work a few nights a week so my hubby often has to put them to bed by himself  and we need to be consistent. So, I developed a visual bedtime routine to hang in our upstairs bathroom, a central location for both children to prep for bedtime. Now I could have printed out this schedule on paper and laminated it...but that would not be as fun! I was given a metal tray that wasn't my style and thought it would be a perfect background for my schedule. Some spray paint, Mod Podge, and a few pictures later and I was in business.

Some possible bedtime routine items are...

• Potty/diaper
• Bath/shower
• Brush and floss teeth
• PJ's
• Pick out clothes for tomorrow
• Book
• Turn on music or sound machine
• Turn on diffuser or humidifier
• Bedtime yoga

I try to allow my children to have choices during their bedtime routine so they feel in control. They can choose 1 or 2 books to choose from. We also have a specific box of bedtime books to avoid stories that will just excite and over stimulate them. They can have 2 or 3 kisses before lights out. They can have lavender or peace and calming essential oil in their diffuser.

When a child is over tired "a stress hormone called cortisol is released, which makes it hard to settle in and causes a child to wake up more throughout the night and wake up too early [in the morning]." according to Jennifer Waldburger the co-founder of Sleepy Planet. We found this to be very true with our almost 4 year old. After moving his bedtime up 30 minutes we found it was much easier to get him to fall asleep.

I do not stick to a strict bedtime. It just doesn't work well with our lifestyle. At times the kids are more tired because of the day's activities. Other days we will go out to dinner and may not get home until 7:30. I know the one thing I can keep consistent it the bedtime routine. At first when we would get home late I would just try to throw the kids in their pajamas and into bed, trying to make their official bed time. It resulted in my kids staying up even later then if I would have just gone through the normal routine. I know ahead of time that if we choose to be out late with the kids, that it will be very late after we have bath time and such. Being an obsessive planner I try not to have too many late nights in a row.

Do my kids go to bed perfectly every night? No. But I have found this helps. Hopefully it will help you. Find me on Twitter (@meganpheterson) and tell me about your bedtime woes and triumphs!